12-4-13 RMB To Thine Own Self Be True

12-4-13 RMB To Thine Own Self Be True

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

On this Wednesday evening, I invited someone out to coffee because I felt she needed to talk. I had the feeling for three days, even though I had no interaction with her. When I asked her out, she gave me a “You talking to me?” look.

I said “It feels like you need to talk.” She knows me well. She knows I talk to the universe and it answers me, or at least I think it does.

With less reluctance than I expected, she nodded and said, “Okay.”

We had not socialized for years. A huge rift kept us apart. In recent months, there is less of a divide. Still, tonight was a giant leap, for both of us.

I have been accused of carrying grudges and of being unforgiving. I think I do neither. Carrying a grudge seems to imply wishing someone ill. I don’t wish anyone ill. I once read that to forgive is to wish someone well who has harmed you. I do wish her well.

So where do these accusations come from? I distance myself and build walls to protect myself. Is that doing harm to another, to cut yourself off from a source of pain and those who are party to the pain? Maybe so.

Although, that possibility alone was not what prompted me to invite her to chat. As I faced a third day of the universe telling me to visit with her and listen for a while, I realized I was fighting my own inclinations. If it had been anyone else, I would have called that first day and said “What’s up?”

I was ignoring that voice that I call to for guidance. If you call out to the universe, you must be open to the response. There is a bigger picture. As Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.” It took me three days to do so.  

Everyday stresses had her frustrated and as I listened, I realized that perhaps I needed the sound of her voice as much as she needed to talk to someone.

Tonight was the beginning of something and the end of something else. As I write to you about cooperation between countries and individuals, I am prompted into conversations replacing silence in my own relationships. Words build bridges.

Thank you for listening to mine,

Loraine