7-17-13 RMB Seek the Light

7-17-13 RMB Seek the Light 

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

In Bingo, I like that one of Mr. Pierre’s versions of a miracle is the early start of Nickel’s life and that she survived at all. I agree. With that rocky start that so mirrors your own, it’s a wonder that she survived in the story. It’s a wonder that you survived and are here with us now.

I like that his second miracle is about the war he fought in and how he and a Korean boy stood shooting at one another, managing not to even wound each another. “There is nothing noble about killing another human being…”, he elaborates, basically saying ‘for any reason at all’. He was referring to “organized violence.”

Even the phrase is creepy, “organized violence”, think Hitler, consider the village mob chasing after Frankenstein. Jennifer Silva Redmond wrote a poem that has stuck with me since I first heard it read, a decade ago. It talks about “This War, Any War”…words that would fit any war, every war.

And what of the levels that lead to violence…prejudice, discrimination, suppression, lack of acknowledgement, indifference, selfishness, resentment ?

To all things there is a path. Where does the path to organized violence begin and what can alter its course???

Perhaps energy is better placed on promoting rather than preventing. Rather than preventing violence, how can we encourage cooperation, kindness, caring, affection, appreciation?

In a discussion at Reverend Millie Landis’ church once, the idea of the devil was examined. One perspective offered is that there is no single devil, no evil entity out to get us, trying to turn us evil. But there is a lack of goodness that, in itself, leads us to evil deeds. Hell is anywhere that God is absent and Heaven is anywhere God is present.

If you are one that dislikes the image or titles God, Heaven and Hell, replace them. Evil lives where goodness is absent. The greater good, the greatest good that we can be, it conquers the wicked. Where there is light there cannot be darkness. Where we bring the light, we create our own paradise.

As with all things, what we seek we find, if we seek the light, the greatest good, we find it, and in doing so, vanquish the dark.

Aspiring for the best,

Loraine

7-16-13 RMB All One

7-16-13 RMB All One

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

Today is Tuesday and my forty-ninth birthday, not that one description of the day is any more significant than the other. My, how time flies when you are having fun…or not. Either way, it races by. I must say, I have enjoyed the decades progressively more over the years, my fourth being the best so far…by far. I am looking forward to my fifth.

I worked today. I like to work, so it was a good way to spend the day. This morning I was greeted by flowers and pastries at work. Three of us have birthday’s this month. That’s a pretty high percentage, about half our staff. The sweets were for us all.

The best part, I was treated to lunch by an old friend and a new friend, the flower bringer. By the end of lunch, my old friend and I had told the new friend about my writing; about my RMB letters and my want-to-be-a-novel America. Both were given to the new friend to read and she says it’s my fault that she is late for work now, because she reads in the morning and doesn’t want to stop. Neat.

I am quite blessed really. My life is unmarred by severe tragedy. Some that I am close to experienced such tragedy, but my greatest struggles have resulted from my own inability to handle the merely difficult aspects of life.

A sister, a niece and her best bud arrive in town early for Comic Con to treat me to a birthday dinner. They spoil me. My birthday wish…for everything to be better for everyone.

I’d better stop before rambling takes flight…back to RMB. In Bingo, the lines

“The difference between genius and stupidity is that even genius has its limits. How stupid I was to assume that tomorrow would be like today.”

and

“Other people’s friends could die but not mine. I needed them too much. I loved them too much. Would life be worth living without them? I knew I’d find out in the decades ahead. I felt as though I’d been hitched to Calamity’s traces and was now pulling heavy, unwelcome knowledge.”

Both of these sections from the life of your character Nickel, emit a combination of well written and insightful perspectives; words that make one stop and reflect. They had that effect on me. I never considered genius nor stupidity as having limits, but I suppose everything must…or maybe not. I like that your words make me think.

I like that sometimes friends can be as important as life itself. We are all one, in more ways than one.

Respectfully,

Loraine

7-14-13 RMB Let the Cars Pass

7-14-13 RMB Let the Cars Pass

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

Today was the second day of the San Diego Pride Festival. Now, at nearly forty-nine, I have attended more than a handful of Festivals. Yet, I am still awed by the sense of togetherness; the friendliness.

As I walked toward the entrance of the festival, I joined a large group heading the same way. From up ahead, I heard a car honking followed by someone shouting. As I came closer, I saw that the festival goers had blocked cars from passing due to sheer mass as we crossed the street. Pedestrians had the right of way, so a car waited at a stop sign, letting us pass. The driver in the car behind it became frustrated at the length of time he waited and the seemingly unending amount of people passing by.

Mr. Frustrated was honking his horn. The gentleman in the front car was yelling back “What do you want me to do, run them over?”

A young male couple, well young to me - they were probably in their thirties, saw this at the same time I did. They were about to cross the street and one of them put out both arms to hold back the crowd. The other followed suit as his boyfriend shouted “Hold up! Let the cars pass!”

The crowd along the street quickly turned from ten to twenty or more, as we waited and more walkers approached. By then several had noticed the exchange, their attention having been drawn to the honking. As the gentlemen in the first car passed, we all applauded. He smiled and waved his thanks. Mr. Frustrated pulled up to the stop sign next. He stopped, not expecting the same courtesy. By now our group was twenty-five or more.

“Come on, you too!” The young man shouted, waving him through.

Mr. Frustrated sheepishly drove through. Again we cheered. We were having fun, our festival experience having already begun. We were together, total strangers, enjoying an act of kindness. We could afford ten minutes of our day to extend a courtesy. After all that is what the festival is about; getting along.

A third car that had been waiting, pulled up driven by a nice lady, who was smiling at the exchange she just witnessed. She stopped at the stop sign and smiled. Our young, good Samaritan waived her through. “You too, come on, lets go!” By now several people were laughing along with the young driver.

We cheered again, wishing all three drivers a good day with our enthusiasm.

Once the coast was clear, we proceeded to cross the street, all forty or so of us. People further back had no idea why we were cheering or applauding, but fun is contagious. They applauded too.

Some things were missing in those moments; the rude person that pushes through because they can’t wait to get to the other side; the grumpy person that complains; the demanding person that insists we have the right of way...that happens elsewhere, in our everyday world…not at the Pride Festival. I like the Pride Festival.

Let the cars pass,

Loraine

7-13-13 RMB San Diego Pride Festival

7-13-13 RMB San Diego Pride Festival

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

Today the 2013 San Diego Pride Festival begins. Having lived in San Diego all of my adult life, I heard about the Pride Festival from an early age. We look at things differently as we age. I remember thinking, ‘What are they making such a big deal about being gay for, when there is so much tyranny in the world, abuse of various sorts, etc.' I was quite young and still in my “save the world” stage. It appeared to me to be a great big party. I have never been the party type. I didn’t get the significance.

Time travel twenty years, to my early forties, and I was ready to attend my first Pride Festival. By then, I had learned that no single person can save the world. There is no Superman…or Superwoman, thus blessed, with power to do so. By forty, I learned that what we can do is save ourselves and, in doing so, become better equipped to help…help, not save…others on their journey.

Despite my own resistance, I’d learned the significance of community. You seem to have been born with an awareness of the importance of community. I see it different than most. I can “join” a gathering just by being near it, experience the energy, enjoy camaraderie. I would rather not be “with” any one person. I’d rather be “with” everyone, with their energy….its hard to explain. Some would say it is my way of keeping distant, although I feel it is quite the opposite.

Nine years ago, as I neared forty, I penciled in a variety of goals. One of which was to live more openly and be supportive of others. My main reason for going that first year? To buy the ticket; to be counted; to toss my “vote” in that this way of life and supporting all lifestyles is important. That was it. I didn’t expect to see anything in particular; didn’t go with anyone. I planned to walk around and leave, having cast my ballot for the greater good at the gate.

One of my favorite experiences is being surprised by life; finding the unexpected…and being a different person in some way because of it; wiser, stronger, braver…better.

The energy I experienced amazed me. I found myself smiling, as I passed smiling person after smiling person. There was a palpable kindness in the air. After walking through the Festival once, I walked it again and again. Then I sat and listened to live music from the grass in front of the open air Balboa Park stage, as individuals, couples and families with children all played, danced or sat and watched with me.

It’s a wonderful type of Twilight Zone feeling, seeing biker dudes…or chics…flamboyant boys, butch girls…many quite “normal” looking folk…thousands of people in all, and everyone was kind to each another. People one would never picture socializing together…gather, laugh, dance…amazing. It is a place where everyone is welcome…what a concept.

I went that first year because I felt I had something to contribute: my support, my “vote”. What I gained was far more than anything I had to offer. I gained the knowledge, the experience, of what humankind is capable of. To all those that make San Diego Pride possible, I send many thanks…for their contribution to the greater good; for showing us what is possible; for making me wiser, stronger, more hopeful, braver…and better, for having experienced it.

With gratitude,

Loraine

7-12-13 RMB Always

7-12-13 RMB Always

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

Here are more thoughts on Bingo. When Nickie visits her father’s grave, these are among your words “I wondered if the soul did outlive the body, because if it did, I knew my father’s soul was somewhere out there trying to be useful.”

You write about so many things, well I guess you must in order to fill so many books. This is one area where I’d like to sit down to tea with you and ask your take on a soul’s life. Mine is that it definitely outlives the body; that it exists and can merge and divide with others easily. We are one…that has a whole new meaning when referring to this everlasting soul.

There are so many things that make this fact obvious to me. The same is true for past lives. I suppose there are other explanations, such as a multidimensional universe, time in flux, a universal consciousness on a grander scheme than I can grasp, etc. But, at this particular point in time, I am limited to my own perceptions, imaginations and awareness, as are we all at any point in time.

I am most comfortable thinking of time in a lineal sense, yesterday, today, then tomorrow…in that order. And I can see life’s expanse only on horizontal and vertical plains. We place ourselves at certain levels and consciously, or not, choose to stay there, traveling side to side, or elevate, or descend to another plain for a grander or lesser experience, whichever we feel we can handle.

Just as we needed to see proof that the world was not flat and that aura’s exist, there are some that will need to see proof before they could possibly believe any of the matters I speculate upon. But, in the meanwhile, some will test the theory and find their own truths.

Consider the thought of your own father hanging out and being useful now…once in that place, where this is possible, you feel a confirmation, a current running through you, an impact as deep within you as your bones. Perhaps you’ve already considered this and enjoy walks with him, brief visits or long conversations. I certainly hope so and feel it is so.

I explained this concept to my sister when our mother passed away. Soon after, she called to say she understood. While in the yard, tending to the garden that meant something to them both, she felt mom visit. She got it. She found a new truth because she was open to exploring the possibility.

Always (which also takes on a new meaning),

Loraine

7-11-13 RMB Happy Ever After

7-11-13 RMB Happy Ever After

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

Today is my sister’s wedding anniversary. If my count is correct, today celebrates their thirty-third year together. The large double wedding was beautiful with my new brother-in-law’s sister marrying her high school sweetheart, who happened to be his best friend, at the same time. Both marriages have lasted.

Both couples have faced hardships. They may have been able to stay together because they managed to tap into the fluidity of love; to adjust with its tides. Their love may be stronger or deeper than others’, but I don’t think so. I know of others that have fallen deeply in love and it didn’t last. It could be that they held tight when others let loose their grip. It could simply be their destiny to stay together. Some stay together because it is the lesser evil, not them though. I know both couples fairly well and I believe they stay together because it is where they find their greatest good. It is inspiring to see happy ever after does exist now and then.

Happy Anniversary to them!

Loraine 

7-10-13 RMB Exploring Love

7-10-13 RMB Exploring Love

Dear Rita Mae Brown,

In your early writings, in books such as Plain Brown Wrapper, you bring up various pictures of society, recommendations of sorts. In Bingo, the main character, Nickie discusses society’s responsibility to all, to create a more honest, transparent atmosphere. It is interesting how Jackson, her lover, had another angle to add to the prism; that of one man loving two women and how he was as at odd with society’s picture of a family, as a gay person might be. In Alma Mater, the main characters participate in a love triangle with a happy ever after, or rather, as happy ever after as possible, ending.

 “Some animals are monogamous. Some are not. They accept their fundamental natures. When it comes to humans, the kindest way to approach this is to understand that monogamy is contrary to nature but necessary for the greater social good.” ~Rita Mae Brown

You have obviously put some thought into how love fits in society and voiced a variety of possibilities. It is important for authors to show us ourselves, how we are and how we could be. You are brave to tackle this from so many perspectives. You are brave to have lived a life exploring possibilities, loving deeply and facing the outcome, regardless of the consequences.

Who we love, how we love and why we love is such a fluid merger, that it is impossible to tell where one ends and another begins.

At the root of the matter, before we truly understand two lovers, or three, or love of thy neighbor, or a society accepting of love in its many shades, so much must transpire. First, to explore love, affection, compassion, the benefits, the life it lives. “God is love” Reverend Millie Landis preached weekly.

I began to see what she meant. I began to see strength in the energy that flows when love is present. Many would scoff at the thought that this entity lives, present and powerful. Yet, everyone has felt a draw towards someone or something they love. It works like a magnet on our souls. Sometimes we work with it and experience a sense of being in sync with ourselves, our mission. Sometimes we fight it, or become confused and at a loss to how to work with it…square pegs in round holes.

It has an intelligence, one that identifies when something will work and when it won’t. One day we may feel we have found the perfect mate and the next day our world lay in ruins as the relationship crumbles. We are not yet as fluid as love, as life. We like our square pegs to fit perfectly, snug and warm. We find a perfect moment and attempt to make it last a lifetime. We insist on what “I want” and “I need”, rather than seek “what’s next?”

If we understood love, or even affection, perhaps compassion, the qualities, the benefits, to ourselves and others, would we be more accepting; willing to find common ground? Will humankind ever appreciate our differences? Imagine all we could learn from one another, if we did.

Appreciatively,

Loraine

“We aren’t going to get anywhere as individuals or as a nation

if we don’t negotiate our differences with trust.” ~Rita Mae Brown