Saturday, May 25, 2013
3-22-13 RMB An Uncommon Conversation
Dear Rita Mae Brown,
It is about time to send these to you. I can’t say exactly what I was waiting for, certainly not to finish, we are far from done. But I had to wait until it felt right.
People are people and each one is unique. There are ways in which we are alike and some in which we vastly differ. Some travel well with the herd, others prefer to lead, others to follow, etc. I look at the herd and think ‘what an interesting species those humans are’. I feel more akin to the trees, the clouds, the wind and the sunset. Animals speak to me and I find their conversations more engaging than those I have with people. I know you understand this. I look forward to reading Animal Magnetism.
Time and place are also in flux. At any moment there is a part of me that feels the future, the past and the present. It is fuzzy at best, like a blurry picture. An example was walking into my home to the smell of smoke. It was strong and I could not locate the source. I sought answers, I guess to say I “prayed for answers” would be more understandable, but for me it is a constant connection, an ongoing conversation. No answer came. Two days later my stepmother called to say my father’s house burned down. They were away on vacation. At the time they were getting the news I was smelling the smoke.
It was similar when San Diego caught fire. Twice in the last decade fire raged through-out our county. For two weeks beforehand I smelled smoke. My house was evacuated once, but the flames never reached it. One Writer’s Circle member lost her home; two others’ homes were within a few miles of the flames.
There is another element, I see people differently than others do. Living or not, I feel their energy and see their path. It is hard for me to be near people, electricity radiates. Even sitting in the front seat of a car together is too close. At movies I prefer an empty seat between me and anyone else.
I don’t know the whys, believe me I have sought the answers. I get a “wait and see” response.
People that don’t believe in God or psychic abilities or the likes, believe in me. My niece told a friend to come over and have me read his Tarot cards. He said “I thought you didn’t believe in that kind of stuff.”
She said, “Oh I don’t, but I believe in my aunt because I’ve seen what she can do.”
I have come to see similar gifts in you Rita Mae Brown. I know people who are far more intelligent than I, as you are. Many are more ambitious, more “together”, more advanced in numerous ways than I, as you are. For some reason, the combination does not mix easy in people: intelligence, ambition, mystical abilities, being “together”. It does in you though.
I have studied many psychics and mystics. Some have great gifts. They worked hard to develop them. I believe everyone has a sixth sense, just as anyone can play a piano if they sat down to do so. The music we make varies.
I bring this up because, in my mystical way, I feel I have finally found you. To be honest, you scare me. Your energy is strong, stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. So strong I had to question myself “Do you really want to build this bridge?” I do. More than that, I feel I must.
Also, finding you was different from my past experience. It felt as though it was you finding me. Like I had to wait until you could receive these letters, because it was you that had to know me first…not the reverse.
I know this is an odd letter, odd concepts, an uncommon conversation. Last night I questioned two friends. “Why do you put up with me?…You’ve seen who I am and yet you support me, support something…someone you know is odd, someone who lives, sees and listens on a different plain?”
I feel like they have surrounded me in a protective circle of friendship. I wish I could have been a part of your circle in the seventies. Not that I would have been a great help, this one that prefers to listen rather than speak. But I would have offered you a hand and an open mind where your words, your thoughts, your vision, were understood and supported.
I pray you are open to receiving these letters, finding their meaning, seeing the reason for them. That is a heck of a lot to ask of you, as I am the writer of said letters and am still reaching for their meaning myself. If anyone is up to the challenge, you are.
LorainePS Have you read “Odd Thomas” by Dean Koontz? My sister got me started on the series with his name or “Odd” in each title. I wonder where Dean got his insights on what to write because I can so relate to Odd Thomas!