2/9/18 RMB Silent January
Dear Rita Mae Brown,
Given thirty-one days, I can normally come up with something
to say. But January was not a normal month.
On the morning of January 8th, my brother Rocky
crossed over to the next phase of our existence. He would have been 62 today,
February 9th.
There are days that I still find myself doing something
routine, normal in every respect, and feeling that there has been a shift.
Normal is not normal anymore because my world no longer includes my Rocky.
Although I talk to him and believe he hears and even responds,
it is not the same. He does feel lighter though, no longer struggling for each breath
from COPD.
On the morning I flew home to California after his services,
a light snow fell. I’ve never been in an Alabama snowfall. Having spent summers
there since childhood, this was a first. From my father’s kitchen window, we
watched three deer eat the corn and grain he put out for them. Snow landed
gently on their brown coats of fir and shiny noses. They visit often, but not normally in the
late morning light, with four adults making noise in the kitchen and watching
them.
I was thankful for their visit. There is more to say about that
trip, but for now, this is enough, just a little hello to you, a Happy Birthday
shout out to my big brother, and a new RMB letter. He encouraged my writing. He
read the letters I posted to you. He was a one of the good guys, one of those
people that always did his best, helped others, did good work, a good listener
and a good story teller. When a heated discussion arose about various “kinds”
of people, he ended it with the statement “People are people”, asserting that
there are good people and bad people in every “kind” of people. He will be
missed.
Still adjusting,
Loraine
